Guest Blog - Tania Fowler
Soft Skills Are Anything But…
Posted on August 29, 2012
I am on a mission. My mission is to stop calling ‘soft skills’ soft. Whenever I work with an organization, a team, or an individual I hear my work commonly referred to as ‘soft skills’ based and am inevitably asked, ‘Isn’t getting the work done what we should be focused on?” As if developing cohesive teams, asking hard questions, constructing compelling clarity, and more effective communication do not fall in the territory of getting the work done. Soft skills live in the territory of helping ensure the overall organizational health of a company.
Here’s my theory of how the term ‘soft skills’ developed when it comes to the work of human beings trying to get stuff done together. It’s hard. Really, really hard. So, if we collectively call it ‘soft,’ then we can put it in a neat little box for another day and instead go about getting the ‘real work’ done. Getting the ‘real work’ done is why, of course, there are absolutely no problems at work and why everybody loves their jobs.
“Soft skills” seem to leave people feeling nervous because they’re about us — people — and how we can work together more effectively for the good of our organizations. It can require being vulnerable. Imagine a family who never talked to each other about anything other than school, grades, money, bills, chores, etc.; the tangible stuff. That doesn’t sound particularly fun, never approaching the rough edges of differences or conflict that naturally arise when people live and work together in close quarters. If you’re looking for a well-rounded individual then this type of family will not likely produce one. People are emotional beings and must be developed in such a way as to handle those emotions constructively as often as possible. That is the whole point of ‘soft skills’ work – to ensure that we work together as constructively as possible while dealing with the rough edges, not avoiding them. Out of the storm comes clarity. Even our own military has come to appreciate, understand, and require training of its people in the art of ‘soft skills’ to accomplish goals in Iraq and Afghanistan; our own military, the most real-work, results-driven, no-nonsense organization out there! It is my belief that the fear of conflict lies at the heart of the term ‘soft skills’ and the strong reaction it provokes. By avoiding the work of soft skills and not dealing with constructive conflict we develop all those elephants in the room, the problems kept under the table.
To clarify, let me define what I mean by ‘conflict’ in terms of ‘soft skills’ in companies. It does not refer to interpersonal problems of disliking someone or wanting to ‘get into it’ with them. Rather, it is about getting people together to flip over many ideas in order to the get to the best decisions or outcomes with the information at hand. And, even people who are good at conflict are uncomfortable with engaging in it. It is by nature, uncomfortable. Productive conflict should be facilitated as a good thing, not something to run from and one must insist that it stay in the constructive territory of solving a problem. Relationships go south when things get confrontationally personal. Working with each other to create better outcomes is at the heart of ‘soft skills’ work and is very difficult. Because within each of us lies greatness and difficulty. So let’s just call soft skills what they really are: Hard
Posted on August 29, 2012
I am on a mission. My mission is to stop calling ‘soft skills’ soft. Whenever I work with an organization, a team, or an individual I hear my work commonly referred to as ‘soft skills’ based and am inevitably asked, ‘Isn’t getting the work done what we should be focused on?” As if developing cohesive teams, asking hard questions, constructing compelling clarity, and more effective communication do not fall in the territory of getting the work done. Soft skills live in the territory of helping ensure the overall organizational health of a company.
Here’s my theory of how the term ‘soft skills’ developed when it comes to the work of human beings trying to get stuff done together. It’s hard. Really, really hard. So, if we collectively call it ‘soft,’ then we can put it in a neat little box for another day and instead go about getting the ‘real work’ done. Getting the ‘real work’ done is why, of course, there are absolutely no problems at work and why everybody loves their jobs.
“Soft skills” seem to leave people feeling nervous because they’re about us — people — and how we can work together more effectively for the good of our organizations. It can require being vulnerable. Imagine a family who never talked to each other about anything other than school, grades, money, bills, chores, etc.; the tangible stuff. That doesn’t sound particularly fun, never approaching the rough edges of differences or conflict that naturally arise when people live and work together in close quarters. If you’re looking for a well-rounded individual then this type of family will not likely produce one. People are emotional beings and must be developed in such a way as to handle those emotions constructively as often as possible. That is the whole point of ‘soft skills’ work – to ensure that we work together as constructively as possible while dealing with the rough edges, not avoiding them. Out of the storm comes clarity. Even our own military has come to appreciate, understand, and require training of its people in the art of ‘soft skills’ to accomplish goals in Iraq and Afghanistan; our own military, the most real-work, results-driven, no-nonsense organization out there! It is my belief that the fear of conflict lies at the heart of the term ‘soft skills’ and the strong reaction it provokes. By avoiding the work of soft skills and not dealing with constructive conflict we develop all those elephants in the room, the problems kept under the table.
To clarify, let me define what I mean by ‘conflict’ in terms of ‘soft skills’ in companies. It does not refer to interpersonal problems of disliking someone or wanting to ‘get into it’ with them. Rather, it is about getting people together to flip over many ideas in order to the get to the best decisions or outcomes with the information at hand. And, even people who are good at conflict are uncomfortable with engaging in it. It is by nature, uncomfortable. Productive conflict should be facilitated as a good thing, not something to run from and one must insist that it stay in the constructive territory of solving a problem. Relationships go south when things get confrontationally personal. Working with each other to create better outcomes is at the heart of ‘soft skills’ work and is very difficult. Because within each of us lies greatness and difficulty. So let’s just call soft skills what they really are: Hard
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