The signals we send

I have seen quite a few appalling meeting behaviors in my time:

Meeting leader starts to read the paper in the middle of a presentation - when confronted he said he had seen the material and that the presentation was for the benefit of the others.

Board member regularly falls asleep during meetings - justification was that this is a cultural thing and in his country that happens. (Chairman went on to justify that once the board member wakes up from his power nap he is really focused!)

Meeting leader gets up in the middle of her meeting to step outside and make a call, citing that this is really important and that the team should just go on without her.


These experiences are so extreme, that it is easy to point out how disrespectful they are to the individuals that have to experience them. It goes without saying that the message that these leaders send is "what you do is not important enough for me".

One of the most important leadership traits is self-awareness of our style, our behaviors. While we would like to think that we don't exhibit extreme behaviors such as these,the reality is we all do things at times that send negative signals- we just aren't aware:

We rush into the meeting late - we signal that the meeting isn't important enough to be on time and its OK to keep others waiting.

We look at our watch while talking to someone - we signal that we have to be someone else and are looking to wrap things up.

We cancel a meeting last minute - we signal that its ok to upset other's days to accommodate ours.

We glance at our blackberry in a meeting; or worse, start texting - we signal that the person talking is not worth listening to.

Be aware of the little things we do and the effect they can have. As a leader, the smallest things are amplified with the megaphone effect.