I posted the following question to my Linked In groups: In your opinion, what do you think are the essential ingredients to effective communication?
Here are a smattering of the some 70-plus responses that came in, all interesting, thought-provoking, and on-point! I submitted all 78 responses to a word cloud program and here is what showed up:
Listening is the big winner!
“Listening, paying attention and not talking with your ego: “what I have to say is much more important than the other person’s. I don’t really read to listen to what they’re saying.” Not good.”
-Charlie Allenson
“…Productive communication should have positive results. There is a new understanding, action steps are taken, and something happens as a result of the communication.”
-By Kristi Fowler
“…If the intention behind the communication is to solve a problem (or address an issue) AND build the relationship, all of the techniques of productive communication will work toward that goal.”
-Marti Benjamin, Professional Certified Coach
“…Listen, listen, LISTEN. Stop other distractions and focus fully on the individual you are engaging conversation with.…Be open to their ideas even if they differ from your own, and just maybe you will be able to see things in a different light!”
-Jill Cone
“…There is a difference between hearing what someone says and really listening to what someone says….Be sure you really understand their message and if you don’t…ask questions to help you learn more. You might consider saying, “If I heard you correctly it is my understanding that…” You want to make a connection to create a comfortable environment for conversation that is productive.”
-Susie Sheftel
“I believe in “Respectful Communication”…not talking “AT” someone, rather talking “TO” someone….In my case, the way in which one of my managers spoke ‘at’ me all the time, without any respect, made it difficult for me to listen to her whenever she wanted to say something to me. She would berate me in front of people if I didn’t do something in the particular way in which she wanted. …Had she communicated ‘with’ me in a respectful manner, I would’ve been able to listen to her…when she spoke. I was unable to hear her because I was always afraid of being humiliated. So, I think everyone is correct…but respect drives it home.”
-Lore Bralczyk
“Minimize assumption, ask the right questions, and be flexible.”
-Angie J
“…Communicate means to express ideas effectively….The job of the one doing the talking is to make sure the ones doing the listening get it (evaluate). And perhaps most importantly is to know that the ones doing the listening are all different and do not hear alike. When you think about it that way it’s pretty simple. One last thing, expressing ideas effectively is the sole responsibility of the one doing the talking.”
-Don Hutson
“…I refocused my entire business…to point the spotlight on listening because it is so much more complex than we ever thought, especially with neuroscience weighing in….Each of us listens differently because we have developed habits in our brain, body and emotions over a lifetime. So, I’m learning that to increase the likelihood of communication to be productive, we need to understand our own listening habits, then flex them to adapt to others’.”
“…I visited a brain lab and watched how different parts of the brain lit up when the person was interested and darkened when there wasn't interest."
-Marian Thier
“Being fully present.”
-Kathleen Worthington
People all learning from each other is what it's all about. Thank you to everyone who answered so thoughtfully.
TaniaFowler is an Executive Coach and Founder of Interplay Coaching
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