The Four Agreements - what we say and assume
I have been reading the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book talks about 4 principles deriving from the ancient wisdom of the Toltecs who were known to be "people of knowledge" and dedicated themselves to maintaining traditional spiritual knowledge of their ancestry.
The Four Agreements talk to several premises, including that fundamentally we no longer pay deliberate attention to how we express ourselves, that we gossip, how we use words and the effect they have on others and to us.
In addition, the way we live, fills us with assumptions that we believe to be true. We assume what others think and mean and how they respond. We make assumptions about ourselves that we believe are true and we have lost sight of just how many assumptions we make. And because we are not careful with our word, because we spread gossip, then our assumptions, mostly false, are spread too.
I was speaking to my friend , Randy Gumenick, about this book, Randy has worked with Rand Stagen and learned a process I really like. Because our mind makes such ready assumptions, we often have strong disconnects with the people with whom we interact. At Rand Stagen, Randy learned the technique of clarifying intent and understanding by telling the other party "The story I am telling myself is..." In other words, you play back to the other party what you are perceiving and understanding to open the door for alignment and clarification.
The bottom line, we all have to work to use our word for positive messaging. It builds healthy relationships and creates a stronger self-worth. And we need to recognize that we all make assumptions, and they are usually wrong!
In tomorrow's post, I will lay out a short summary of the Four Agreements. Its a great read, and solid advice.
The Four Agreements talk to several premises, including that fundamentally we no longer pay deliberate attention to how we express ourselves, that we gossip, how we use words and the effect they have on others and to us.
In addition, the way we live, fills us with assumptions that we believe to be true. We assume what others think and mean and how they respond. We make assumptions about ourselves that we believe are true and we have lost sight of just how many assumptions we make. And because we are not careful with our word, because we spread gossip, then our assumptions, mostly false, are spread too.
I was speaking to my friend , Randy Gumenick, about this book, Randy has worked with Rand Stagen and learned a process I really like. Because our mind makes such ready assumptions, we often have strong disconnects with the people with whom we interact. At Rand Stagen, Randy learned the technique of clarifying intent and understanding by telling the other party "The story I am telling myself is..." In other words, you play back to the other party what you are perceiving and understanding to open the door for alignment and clarification.
The bottom line, we all have to work to use our word for positive messaging. It builds healthy relationships and creates a stronger self-worth. And we need to recognize that we all make assumptions, and they are usually wrong!
In tomorrow's post, I will lay out a short summary of the Four Agreements. Its a great read, and solid advice.
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