Guest Blog - Tania Fowler Cowboy Schooling

I Get Schooled by a Cowboy by Tania Fowler About a month ago now I started a discussion in one of my Linked IN groups that keeps on giving.  I asked what the key ingredients are that go into productive communication.Here's the blog entry I wrote on the responses to that question, but yesterday I had this exchange with one of the respondents that made me laugh and nod: Don Huston, owner of The Cowboy Solution out of Texas wrote: "The very first ingredient is to understand the what and who. Communicate means to express ideas effectively. The dictionary makes NO allowance for the other person. The onus to communicate in on the one doing the talking. I agree with Karin that listening is a key ingredient in the success but it is up to the one doing the talking to do so in such a way as to get the other to want to listen. "I told them," is not communicating. And if communicate means to expresses ideas effectively then only when you do so are you productive. The old cowboy said, "Until something happens, nothing happened."" I liked his response but then added: "Interesting ideas Don. But the dictionary does say that communication is 'a process by which information is exchanged between individuals...' So while its always a good idea for one to be focused on the intent and clarity of their communication, listening well heightens the ability for the communication to carry to a higher level increasing the chance of productive outcomes, yes? Unfortunately so many communications out there are the 'I told you...' directive types - not usually good for people. I love the cowboy saying you provide, 'Until something happens. nothing happened.'" And finally, Don nails it: "I agree Tania. Our job is to find a way to get them to listen. And then to listen to see if they got it. The listening is the evaluation. A good cowboy knows that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. But the better cowboy knows how to put enough salt in the oats to make him thirsty.  Now exactly where did I put the salt shaker?" Wonderful!  So clear.  See how metaphors work so well plus the sense of humor.  I LOVE being taught something in this way!   Tania Fowler is founder of Interplay Coaching, based in California